Coming out in inverted commas because I'm unsure as to how I feel about the term. No one should feel obligated to declare their sexuality - it is a very personal thing. However, we live in a world where people are assumed heterosexual until they assert otherwise, and as such coming out is often a practical thing you have to do. How can we expect to obtain our rights, without first asserting that we exist?

Sunday, 13 July 2014

Coming Out to...the Male Friend

My Thoughts

First of all, apologies for the odd title. In no way do I want to suggest that this particular friend's defining quality is the fact that he is male. It's just that in the context of this post his gender becomes very relevant. If you look at the timeline of friends and family I've come out to, it quickly becomes evident that most of the voices on my blog are female. 

There's a very specific reason for that: growing up I had this fear that male friends would reject me thinking that I wanted to have sex with them. Thus I shied away from discussing my sexuality with them and opted to speak to female friends instead. In my mind back then, even if my female friends did not react positively to my bisexuality, I thought that they wouldn't feel personally threatened by it. Of course, I've learned since then that many heterosexual women are quite insecure around bisexuality, and maybe I'll cover that in another post.

Coming back to this particular friend, I have to say that thankfully none of my fears ever materialised. I do try to pick my battles carefully, and when I came out to this friend I presupposed that he wouldn't react too negatively. He's calm and logical, and frankly he's also far too nice for hostility. Still, I've been lucky, as sadly I've met many others who's friends haven't reacted quite so well.