Coming Out to...the Unexpected Best Friend

My Thoughts

I found her wandering around our house during one of my parents' innumerable parties. There were no other people there our age, so it was perhaps inevitable that we would start talking. I learned that she was a few years older than me and had only recently moved to England from Bangladesh herself. We were similarly liberal, outspoken and opinionated - and so obviously we got on like a house on fire. We were only occasional friends though, meeting now and then at different social and community events until my parents eventually relocated to Bangladesh yet again.

Coming Out to...the Little Brother

My Thoughts

Growing up, I was always aware that my parents wanted me to respect certain Bangladeshi cultural boundaries. I had no interest in doing this, but I toed the party line nevertheless for fear of the consequences. Whenever I did do anything against their wishes, it was either done in a clandestine manner or accompanied by lots of cajoling and placating. My little brother, on the other hand, has always taken a different approach to the parents – pretending that he is completely unaware of their expectations, culturally or otherwise. This has let him go and do whatever he wants, and feign ignorance later to avoid the consequences.

Coming Out to...the Youngest Aunt

I've always worried about coming out to older Bangladeshis. LGBTQ issues don't even seem to exist for them, so how can they be understanding of my sexuality? But I guess you never know till you try.

This post is about my aunt who lives in the States. Earlier this year I flew over to hers as I'd not seen her in half a decade, and I came out to her while I was there. It was unlikely I'd be able to do it face to face any other time in the near future, so I thought I should take the chance. She is the first and currently only Bangladeshi over a certain age to whom I have revealed my bisexuality to. She doesn't know about this blog, and so right now I can only write about my point of view. Hopefully one day that'll change, and I'll be able to share her thoughts as well.

Coming Out to...the Colleagues, Part 2

Tentative Steps

It's been a few months now since I first told someone at work that I'm bisexual. He was driving at the time, and I'm glad he didn't crash the car from shock or something. He actually told me he was glad I'd shared something personal because it felt like we were closer now. I wanted to tell him to stop being so nauseating, but I kept my mouth shut as it was the right kind of reaction.

Opinion: Political Pride

I marched at London Pride this year. Unmasked, not in any kind of fancy dress. I'm not sure when during this journey I started to feel secure enough in myself to do that. I guess a lot has changed in the last year. I've graduated from university, gotten myself a cushy job and finally emancipated myself from the parents. I'm by now (actively or by power of rumour) out to a few of my family, most of my friends and even colleagues at work. My parents still don't know, but I no longer live my life worrying about what happens when they find out.

Who says Pride can't be political?

Coming Out to...the Colleagues, Part 1

Setting the Scene

The environment I work in is often assumed to be homophobic

No matter how apprehensive I may have been about coming out to friends and family, I still maintained a semblance of control over their reactions. The same wasn't quite true for the world of work. Protected as I may be under UK law, I am not immune to any potentially negative reactions from colleagues. Furthermore, any organisational bias within my company is still beyond my ability to influence. 

However, my biggest fear has always been that my sexuality, or my revelation of such, would limit the scope of my career. My work often takes me out of the fairly safe realms of the UK. I've already found myself working in remote regions of Africa. I hope that over time I'll find myself working on cutting-edge projects in even more inaccessible, challenging locations. But the truth is, sexuality and the acceptance of sexual minorities will often be unexplored concepts in these places. Being openly bisexual alone may be out of the question, nevermind going expat with a boyfriend. Or girlfriend even, as some places require you and your partner to be legally married to get a visa.

Will my company just refuse to send me places because of safety concerns arising from my sexuality? What opportunities will I be excising from my career simply by being out? But then again, no career is worth a life of cowering in the closet. Not to mention the importance of visibility. I'm doing this not just for me but for those who will come after me. And those now who have to live their lives in less than favourable circumstances. 

There won't be 'My Thoughts' or 'Their Thoughts' sections to the rest of these posts given the wide range of people I'll talk about. But hopefully the examples of my colleagues' reactions give you a good indication of my situation at work.