Coming Out to...the Youngest Aunt

I've always worried about coming out to older Bangladeshis. LGBTQ issues don't even seem to exist for them, so how can they be understanding of my sexuality? But I guess you never know till you try.

This post is about my aunt who lives in the States. Earlier this year I flew over to hers as I'd not seen her in half a decade, and I came out to her while I was there. It was unlikely I'd be able to do it face to face any other time in the near future, so I thought I should take the chance. She is the first and currently only Bangladeshi over a certain age to whom I have revealed my bisexuality to. She doesn't know about this blog, and so right now I can only write about my point of view. Hopefully one day that'll change, and I'll be able to share her thoughts as well.

Coming Out to...the Colleagues, Part 2

Tentative Steps

It's been a few months now since I first told someone at work that I'm bisexual. He was driving at the time, and I'm glad he didn't crash the car from shock or something. He actually told me he was glad I'd shared something personal because it felt like we were closer now. I wanted to tell him to stop being so nauseating, but I kept my mouth shut as it was the right kind of reaction.

Opinion: Political Pride

I marched at London Pride this year. Unmasked, not in any kind of fancy dress. I'm not sure when during this journey I started to feel secure enough in myself to do that. I guess a lot has changed in the last year. I've graduated from university, gotten myself a cushy job and finally emancipated myself from the parents. I'm by now (actively or by power of rumour) out to a few of my family, most of my friends and even colleagues at work. My parents still don't know, but I no longer live my life worrying about what happens when they find out.

Who says Pride can't be political?

Coming Out to...the Colleagues, Part 1

Setting the Scene

The environment I work in is often assumed to be homophobic

No matter how apprehensive I may have been about coming out to friends and family, I still maintained a semblance of control over their reactions. The same wasn't quite true for the world of work. Protected as I may be under UK law, I am not immune to any potentially negative reactions from colleagues. Furthermore, any organisational bias within my company is still beyond my ability to influence. 

However, my biggest fear has always been that my sexuality, or my revelation of such, would limit the scope of my career. My work often takes me out of the fairly safe realms of the UK. I've already found myself working in remote regions of Africa. I hope that over time I'll find myself working on cutting-edge projects in even more inaccessible, challenging locations. But the truth is, sexuality and the acceptance of sexual minorities will often be unexplored concepts in these places. Being openly bisexual alone may be out of the question, nevermind going expat with a boyfriend. Or girlfriend even, as some places require you and your partner to be legally married to get a visa.

Will my company just refuse to send me places because of safety concerns arising from my sexuality? What opportunities will I be excising from my career simply by being out? But then again, no career is worth a life of cowering in the closet. Not to mention the importance of visibility. I'm doing this not just for me but for those who will come after me. And those now who have to live their lives in less than favourable circumstances. 

There won't be 'My Thoughts' or 'Their Thoughts' sections to the rest of these posts given the wide range of people I'll talk about. But hopefully the examples of my colleagues' reactions give you a good indication of my situation at work.

Coming Out to...the Sensible Friend

My Thoughts

I first met her at college in Bangladesh. She's one of a great group of friends I made back home, the real close kind I never thought I'd make so many of. We've always gotten on really well. We're wired the same way, with our to-do lists, control-freak tendencies and drive for perfectionism! In college, she was the nice, smart girl who was out to do good in the world, and had goals that I really respected. But she went to university in the US: the distance and our new lives caused us not to grow apart, but just to generally grow while we were away from each other. A lot has happened to both of us while we've been away for our degrees, and we may never have shared these stories if I hadn't decided to come out to her.

Shahbag: Blog on Hold

The Shahbag protests in Dhaka, Bangladesh have been the biggest the country has seen in decades

The blog will be on hold while I dedicate my spare time and Twitter account to the Shahbag protests. If you're unsure of what the Shahbag protests are about, read this article by Tahmima Anam. There is a lot information and misinformation out there. In a nutshell, Bangladesh has finally put on trial Muslim fundamentalist war criminals. These criminals collaborated with Pakistan during our 1971 War of Independence to rape, torture and commit genocide. Their actions resulted in a death toll of three million and rape victims numbering around two hundred thousand. A tribunal recently sentenced one of these war criminals to life in prison. The tribunal has drawn criticism for its methodology (some of it fair),  as well as fallen victim to fundamentalist propaganda (not so fair). Life in prison in Bangladesh can actually mean a very short sentence due to corruption and changing governments. People want a more final solution, and as such are demanding the death sentence. While I am reluctant to encourage the application of death sentences, I do believe it's a better option than letting these criminals roam free again in a few years. 

I will only say one thing pertaining to sexuality in this post. It's rather obvious from my Twitter account that I am bisexual and write about LGBTQ issues. That, as of yet, has not attracted any hostility from anyone I've been interacting with online about Shahbag. I find this fact heartening.

I hope the next time I post Bangladesh will have dealt with the 1971 war criminals and their Islamist-fundamentalist agenda.